God, You are My Portion

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
 his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
    to the soul who seeks him.

(Lamentations 3:22-25 ESV)

God is so good to us, He always gives us just the right portion that we need at just the right time - My prayer is that we would recognize this in all situations, that we would have eyes to see His portion and the ears to hear His portion (from Proverbs 20:12).

We’ve heard these words before, we’ve clung to these verses and memorized the lyrics to the worship songs repeating these promises time and again - but there’s a special moment, when something clicks between our mind and on the inside of our heart, when we realize that it all makes perfect sense and that is one of our defining God moments.

So many times we pray and ask God repeatedly for the same thing, on the same subject, even with the same words - but we don’t stop to listen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not preaching, I’m saying from experience - I’ve been guilty of this so many times and I’m sure I will make this mistake many times again!  When we pray, really pray, we need to stop and make a practice to hear from God, instead of just telling Him what we want, we need to listen and even realize that sometimes God has already given us His answer.

I haven’t been writing any posts because I’ve been waiting on God to lead me, not sure of what He wants me to do.  I know when we seek God’s will, we can’t go wrong - my whole point to my writing was because I felt led to and lately I haven’t been sure of what was God’s will and what was mine.  I don’t ever want to make the mistake of writing ANYTHING outside of God’s will, so I admit, I’ve been scared of taking any steps but I think those first steps  - are actually the steps of faith - that God has been waiting on me to make. 

God knows our purpose on this planet long before we were born, before we were conceived, He knew the parents we needed to be born to, the time we needed to be born in, the friends we need to make, and even the time we would need to come to the Lord. It’s amazing to think that each and every one of us might not have been ‘planned’ by our parents, but we were planned by God. If you were like my parents and born into a family that consisted of abuse and terrible trials, know this - God didn’t plan that for you; those were humans that chose wrongly!  God has the perfect plan for us, whether we cooperate and follow those plans - those are our own flesh driven choices.

Sometimes God has given me a direction, that I know without a doubt - was God speaking to me and no they haven’t come with an audible voice, but I KNOW were God:  the decision to be a stay at home mom (with the specific purpose of raising our sons to be the men of God that God intends them to be) and then the decision to homeschool our sons. So when I struggle to find answers or direction, I may have to make a decision that I don’t get as clear an answer as I have in those instances - but none the less, I know the bigger picture has already been set in motion. These details I’m praying on, might only be discerned through trial and error, but won’t alter the course.  So when you’re praying on something and haven’t received an answer, search God’s Word!  We can be confident knowing that the scriptures are God’s best advice for us, His Word won’t ever steer you wrong and sometimes you’ll find the answer written directly on a page in your Bible.

God's Medicine, Take Daily

So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength). (2 Corinthians 12:10 Amp)

My 39th year seemed to be all about my health declining and my medical prescriptions increasing. I started the year off continuing to do intense work outs (cross fit) 3-5 times a week, to collapsing on the couch after my work outs and needing to sleep for a couple of hours, to not being able to do my work outs because as soon as I started - I was too exhausted to finish. I had to wear a heart monitor for a month, discovered I had tachycardia and recently atrial fibrillation. I have already been on blood pressure medication for 12 years, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis for my 30th birthday and in the past year I’ve been treated for high cholesterol and insulin resistance (metabolic syndrome) which has caused me from being the girl who could lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks to the girl who gains weight from looking at a cookie. And last but not least at the ripe age of 35 I had a complete hysterectomy (both ovaries gone as well) and learned what suffering through surgical menopause was all about - hot flashes are no joke!!

I’ve always believed in healing, so when I started coming down with all these chronic conditions, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t healed - which can cause a lot of guilt for a person of faith, making you question where you stand with God, wondering shouldn’t I be receiving a miracle?  But today as I was taking one of my many prescriptions, I realized I was looking at this wrong. Paul’s words came to me and I remembered the thorn in his side.

even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9 NLT)

I may have weaknesses (lots of them), but I've got God's strength to make it through. The various conditions I have, they aren’t something I necessarily need healing from, instead maybe just some lessons to learn from.  One reminder I needed was that medicine doesn’t just come in a bottle, it also comes from my Bible.

He sent out His Word and healed them…(Psalm 107:20a NIV)

God's Word is healing to our minds, our spirits and our bodies.  We know that God can take anything that the enemy meant for harm and use it for His good and perfect will (see Romans 8:28).  My healing may take some time, depends on what lessons need to be learned, but I am confident that God’s timing is perfect, we might not understand it now, but there will come a day when it all makes sense.  

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9 Amplified)

Flesh vs Spirit

So you, my son, be strong (strengthen inwardly) in the grace (spiritual blessing) that is [to be found only] in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 2:1 AMP)

When I first read this verse in the NIV, I wanted to know more, what did Paul mean by saying being strong in grace, so I dug a little deeper and discovered the Amplified which clarified this a bit more and then found in Hayford Bible Handbook that the Spiritual blessings are defined as grace, mercy, peace and even life itself, reside in Him (Christ) and are derived from Him [2 Tim 1:1-2, 9-10, 13, 16, 18; 2:1].

Upon accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior we became new creations IN Christ. That means our inward self is new, clean, made of God for God with only one desire to serve God. Which as you know puts ourselves in constant conflict with our flesh, our flesh is of this world - and remember who is the god of this world (2 Corinthians 4:4) so our flesh wants everything that is unclean and against God's very nature. How often have you sat torn between doing one thing and another, sometimes it's something that seems so insignificant - for example: so many times I sit down and say I should read my Bible, but what's on TV or let me check the internet (this is classic Flesh [worldly] vs Spirt [holy]). The battle is ongoing 24/7, that's why we were told about our Armor of God and how to use it - we can't win if we're not prepared for the battle (Ephesians 6:12-18).

I believe Kenneth A. Hagin said it best, "Man is a spirit, he has a soul, and he lives in a body.".  If you follow the link, you can read all the scripture that explains each part of that statement and if you can, I highly recommend reading his book, 'How You Can be Led by the Spirit of God'.  To break it down even further, we are a spirit (new creation in Christ), we have a soul (our mind), and we have a body (our flesh). That's why it's so important to renew our minds with God's Word - we have to re-train our minds and take control of our flesh!

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2 NKJV)

Notice how Paul told us to not be conformed to 'this world' - this world belongs to the devil and we are not of this world, so that's why we must immerse ourselves in God's Word.  We're surrounded by a world of decay and immorality and unless we acknowledge this and take action, we will succumb to the flesh.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another. (Galatians 5:22-26 NLT)

I admit this is something I struggle with, even sitting down to write my blog, I feel God's leading to write, but I find other things to do (fleshy laziness). I know God's will is for me to write these posts and yet I can always find an excuse; can I share with you that when I do write, I almost always get a response from someone that they needed this or I get blessed with something I've been praying for - obedience to God's Word isn't just so we can win against our flesh, it's so God can bless us and others as well. We are Christ's Ambassadors, we are to be the example - when Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and the devil tempted His flesh - Jesus responded each time with the greatest weapon, "It is written...". Jesus used scriptures to defeat the devil and we have the same arsenal at our fingertips and that's how we can defeat our flesh.

Satan tempts Jesus Matthew 4:1-11

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. [Matthew 12:37] (Proverbs 18:21 AMP)

Renewing our minds with God's Word changes our thinking and our response to situations. When we then speak God's Word over our life and over our circumstances; we begin to speak praises and thanksgiving to God, it becomes second nature. And this is how we have been given the same power over our flesh; it IS the power of life or death.

Fighting Depression and Anxiety

We all were created by God for a specific purpose. As I’ve drawn closer to God and prayed over various areas and circumstances in my life, He has always been faithful to reveal specific answers to my prayers, but always in His perfect timing. I learned how I was to quit working and be a stay at home mom to our sons specifically so I could raise them to be the men of God that they were intended to be. When we struggled with financing our new home, I was promised that our home would be a blessing to others, where we would share God with others. When we were deciding upon the question of homeschooling, the two previous promises came together again - reminding me, God’s timing is indeed perfect and only with those promises fulfilled could we make that faithful step of homeschooling.

So now, I am once again at God’s mercy with yet another trial and staring fear in the face, questioning every move I make, afraid to be out of the will of God - not sure if I’m doing the right thing; is our home and my health at risk by allowing anxiety and depression to overpower me. It can be a lonely place, when a Believer struggles with such doubts - afraid to share them with others, because you don’t want to discourage others - especially when you’ve always been the strong encourager and prayer warrior for everyone else. Not wanting to answer when asked how you are, because you don’t want to lie and you don’t want to tell the truth ~ that you cry yourself to sleep most nights and while awake are consumed with fear and anxiety during the day.

I know I tend to share a lot and this has made me fearful of writing. I’m either sharing too much or I’m sharing enough to let others know they aren’t alone.  So I’ve held back writing about this time I’m going through - afraid of sharing too much, yet needing to get off my chest what has paralyzed me for far too long.

Like all good parents, my parents worry about me, even as a wife/mom at age 39, that hasn’t stopped their worry - so much that I don’t dare tell them what all I’m dealing with. My husband is in Afghanistan and definitely has too much to be concerned about, let alone worry about all that his wife is struggling with back home. I wish I could say I have friends to confide in, but honestly, they are too busy with their own lives to get involved with me and most of them assume I’m this Super Woman who can do it all, so when I mention what’s going on, it’s easily brushed aside as not that big of a deal. That’s why it’s so wonderful to have a Heavenly Father that I can lay my burdens down to, a God that I can cry out to; I know that I can boldly go to His throne of grace and receive His never ending love and mercy, peace, strength and comfort. 

I know the enemy wants nothing more than to keep me gripped in this fear and panic, but that’s the key - I know that’s where he wants me, so I’m not going to stay there - I choose Life. 

“Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. 16 For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy. (Deuteronomy 30:15-16 NLT)

Jesus already broke those chains of bondage for me when I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, we’ve been given complete authority over the devil, so when he begins whispering his lies and doubts we have to lean on the Word of God more than ever, because it's by His strength and His might we are more than conquerors!

So I’m taking hold of the promises that God has given me, and I’m claiming even more.  God’s promises haven’t changed, He’s given me my own and He’s given all His children the same inheritance, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, plans for a GOOD and NOT for disaster, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE’. My purpose hasn’t changed, I might have run into some road blocks and made some mistakes along the way, but God’s mercy is freely given to the repentant heart.  

God knows the trials I’m going through and I know that only the work of a supernatural miracle will resolve my problems - I have to trust in God, He made those promises to me and I can’t stop believing in them just because of what I’m going through - that’s what faith is all about. I’ve learned a lot through this and I’m still learning, but I believe the key that God wanted to show me was; no matter what happens, this world is temporary, we are but vapors in the wind and only one thing remains - God’s love; so there’s nothing I can ever fear in this life when the Creator of the Universe knows me, loves me, and has great plans for me!

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Eternal, “plans for peace, not evil, to give you a future and hope—never forget that. 12 At that time, you will call out for Me, and I will hear. You will pray, and I will listen. 13 You will look for Me intently, and you will find Me. 14 Yes, I will be found by you,” says the Eternal, “and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations where you’ve been scattered—all the places where I have driven you. I will bring you back to the land that is your rightful home.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 VOICE)

Say No to Offense, Instead Forgive & Bless

Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 NLT)

How many times have you been judged based on your appearance? I know I have been given the ‘once over’ many times based on the way I look. I’m 38 but I look younger (or so I like to think), I have a pierced nose and many tattoos; this can cause people to give me ‘that’ look. I’m a big hearted person with my heart on my sleeve, so when I see someone snubbing me, I take it personally, instead of taking it as Jesus told us.

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.” (Matthew 7:1-2 NLT)

Now my husband, who gets that ‘look’ by others quite often , tells me not to worry about it and he lets it roll right off of him without a second thought.  Yet when this happens to me, I lie awake at night thinking about what was said or should have been said and letting the situation eat at me.  I’ve learned this is just another trick of the enemy.

The devil tricks us by moving our focus from God and onto an offense. That offense that we have been dwelling on, has given ourselves over to sin, and usually we don’t even realize that because we feel justified since we were ‘wronged’.  But Jesus told us, that we are to forgive someone when they sin against us, ALWAYS.

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”  “No, not seven times, “Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” (Matthew 18:21-22NLT)

Ouch!! Lesson #1: Forgive, forgive, forgive and keep forgiving!! I’ve learned that people (regardless if they are Believers or not) will make mistakes and judge others.  So when this happens to us, we don’t need to take offense, we need to forgive them! 

And now that we've forgiven them, we can start blessing them...what!?! I know forgiving them was big, but now we also need to bless them, because that's what Jesus said.

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven…” (Matthew 5:43-45 NLT)

Lesson #2: Bless your enemy. Yes this is going to take some practice (and in my case, a lot of practice!) Walking the talk is more than just saying we are Believers and followers of Christ, it means putting the scripture in action. It's not an overnight transformation, the renewing of our minds (renewing of our thoughts, actions and reactions) takes time.

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2 NLT)

There is comfort in knowing that when we continue to put God’s Word in us and make an effort to practice the scripture's teachings; that over time, what once was awkward and difficult, can become effortless and natural, because with God’s help, we can do this!!

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NLT)

Darkness and the Light

Don’t do as the wicked do, and don’t follow the path of evildoers.15 Don’t even think about it; don’t go that way.  Turn away and keep moving. (Proverbs 4:14-15 NLT)

What caught my eye here was verse 15 – Don’t even think about it! How many times do we let our thoughts drift off where they don’t need to be. Do you know that most sins don’t happen ‘out of nowhere'. A person has to give that sin a thought first, if we are not careful to push that thought out of our head, if we are not being defensive, that thought can setup in our minds. That’s how the enemy can gain a foothold on a person; giving into a thought, thinking about something/someone/someplace that doesn’t need to be thought upon. If you allow your mind to stay captive with the wrong thoughts, to prevent that foothold from becoming a stronghold, you need to get rid of the thought and replace it - replace it with the Word of God. That’s why in the rest of Verse 15, we are told, to ‘turn away and keep moving’. Don’t stop and think about it, get out – have you ever watched a movie and known the ‘bad guy’ was hiding in the dark room or alleyway, and you’re yelling at the TV for the person to ‘get out, why are you going down a dark abandoned alleyway, you know nothing good ever comes from that!’ it’s the same thing with us.

The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day. 19 But the way of the wicked is like total darkness. They have no idea what they are stumbling over. (Proverbs 4:18-19 NLT)

They don’t make many horror movies with scary scenes all in daylight for one reason, when the light is shining all around us, we feel safe, we tend to not dwell on thoughts we shouldn't. But when it’s dark and we can’t see where we are or where we are going, that’s when it’s dangerous.

One of my favorite songs based on Psalm 119:105 was ‘Thy Word’ by Amy Grant: (just a few lyrics)

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet

And a light unto my path

I will not forget

Your love for me and yet,

My heart forever is wandering.

Jesus be my guide,

And hold me to Your side,

And I will love you to the end.

When I feel afraid,

And think I’ve lost my way.

Still, You’re there right beside me.

Nothing will I fear

As long as You are near;

Please be near me to the end

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet

And a light unto my path

God’s Word is a light for us, HIS Words are instructions for us, teaching us how to navigate this life. We are spiritual beings in a fleshy body, with worldly desires and a mind that has spent more time being taught about the physical world than the spiritual world – so we are in desperate need for instructions on how to live in a world that is only our temporary home. It's like going to foreign country without a guide, a map or a translator - you will get lost, confused and frustrated and probably end up where you don't want to be. 

So many times I’ll find a million excuses not to read my Bible or spend time with God, but the second that I do start reading my Bible – I can’t put it down, it’s like that ice cold refreshing drink of water when you’re so incredibly thirsty, you can’t stop drinking it! The enemy knows we are stronger when we spend time in the Word, he knows that it is our greatest weapon and with it we not only can help ourselves, but we can help others as well. He will do what he can to keep us out of GOD's Word and with the modern day distractions, he doesn't have to do much work, lots of times we do the work for him.

I joke that I don’t have much will power any more and I’m serious when I say that, that’s why it’s so important to develop habits. When you do something regularly you are less likely to stop doing it, simply because its become a habit. I worked out every morning at 4am the last few years I worked, when I retired, I stopped waking up at 4am to work out, thinking I could work out anytime during the day – WRONG! Because I got out of that habit, I developed new habits to fill in that time and I’ve been struggling to get back into a routine where I am working out again. So make it a habit to pick up your Bible at a set time of day, in the same place in your home, something that will develop into a habit to where you won't have to think about it, you'll just do it out of reflex.

Some people need accountability, I’m also one of them! I follow our church’s daily bible reading plan on my iPad. Everyday, it pulls up the chapters I’m reading for the day and when I finish my daily chapters, I get a ‘check’ mark. This is ideal for me, I like to see a To Do list and I like to see it checked off as well, so this keeps me accountable. I might fall behind once or twice during the week, but I always catch up before the end of the week so I can see that lil' check mark with the percentage telling me how close I am to completing the Reading Plan. If accountability is what you need to keep you reading your Bible, find a Bible plan and start one. I use YouVersion's app on my iPhone & iPad, which also can be used on my computer, if you prefer the touch and feel of a Bible, there are plans you can print out as well. If you are new to reading the Bible, start with one of the first 4 Gospels of the New Testament (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John) and then go into Acts, Romans, and the rest of the NT (there's lots of ideas on what plan is best, I just think new Believers should start with the NT before they jump into the OT); the plan I'm following is Project 3:45 Plus.

My child, pay attention to what I say.  Listen carefully to my words.21 Don’t lose sight of them.  Let them penetrate deep into your heart,22 for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.  (Proverbs 4:20-23 NLT)

You see, if we pay attention to the instructions we’ve been given in the Bible, it will bring LIFE and not death to us, it will cause HEALING – not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Let GOD’s Word sink deep into our heart, keeping all the worldly things out, and that's where we find LIFE. Because we must protect our heart, it determines the steps we take, so if we put the Word of GOD into our hearts, we will follow the path HE has for us, the path that leads to LIFE!

Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.26 Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path.27 Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil. (Proverbs 4:25-27 NLT)

Those detours of life, the ones that pull us away from GOD and the path HE has before us – they are a dangerous distraction that only leads to pain and destruction. No one likes to learn lessons the hard way, so don’t get off the path, stay on the path GOD has set out before you. Keep HIS Word in your heart, follow HIS instructions, keep yourself from unneeded pain and stay in the light where you belong – we are new creations in Christ, that is creations of the Way the Truth and the Life!

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?  When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.   And you know the way to where I am going.” “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” (John 14:1-6 NLT)

We know The Way, we just need to follow The Way!

Healing Takes Faith and a Little Patience

   But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brougt us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5 NIV)

That is just one of the many scriptures that refer to our healing, I have a list of over a 100 scriptures that show how healing is GOD's desire for us. I had spoken to others who have received miraculous healing, read about others and heard pastors talking about it. So what I haven’t been able to grasp, in groups that believe in healing, why some people are healed and some are not. I’ve wondered does that mean those that haven’t been healed didn’t have enough faith?  So I began looking at what we need for our faith:

So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ. (Romans 10:17 NLT)

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—(Ephesians 2:8 NIV)

Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." (Matthew 17:20 NLT)

So we grow our faith from reading GOD's Word, we are saved by grace through faith (believing that we can even be saved), and that with faith as small as a mustard seed we can move mountains. So now I think I know what is required to have healing, but don't have a practical application, that is until....

Febuary 8th our vet gave us the prognosis of lymphoma and advanced kidney failure for our 'puppy' Jedi. The vet told me he had about 30 days - I immediately told her we believe in GOD's healing and that we won't have to worry about that. Three days after that prognosis we brought him back in and she was amazed at how wonderful he was doing, she said she knew we believed in healing and that she was impressed. We have been continously praying for Jedi and have only been speaking life over his diagnosis and not death, we have believed that he received healing and that maybe some symptoms are still showing, but everyday he is healthier and he is healed. 

I pray over a list of people every night, all for different requests, and there are a few for healing. I've often prayed the same way for these healings and now that I've been in a situation with a healing, I have been second guessing the way I've been praying, because I've learned from personal experience that our emotions, faith, and patience are constantly battling each other.

I read once a story that happened to Bro.Kenneth E. Hagin, he said he was visiting a friend at work in an oil field, he had just left that friend and the friend was in a terrible accident that he was maimed so badly, that he had died. While Brother Hagin was praying over his friend he was giving GOD all the reasons why this man needed to stay alive and couldn’t die; the man would later tell Brother Hagin he was in heaven and talking with Jesus, and Jesus told the friend, sorry you can’t stay, Brother Hagin won’t let you. The friend lived and continued to serve the Lord all because Bro. Hagin was praying over him and explaining why his friend needed to live! 

Well, last night (30 days past the original diagnosis), my dog was very near death and I was very afraid; crying and praying over him in the Spirit. You see I was so torn, I had believed we received healing, so why was this happening, my flesh (emotions) fighting with my faith (spirit) and my patience (my mind - soul). As I was praying in the Spirit, my mind began thinking of that story from Bro.Hagin, so I began to tell GOD why Jedi couldn’t die. His healing is going to lead others to salvation, there are too many people who are watching him to see if my miracle happens or not, there are too many people counting on this to make or break their faith. My Facebook friends are aware of the prognosis, many are praying, some I’m sure are skeptical and then some are probably needing this miracle as badly as we want it.  Our sons need to see this healing, so they can know first hand that healing is ours, that prayers do get answered and GOD cares about us, what matters to us, matters to GOD. My father hasn't been in church for years and I know how much he loves his ‘grand-dog', so I know he needs to see this miracle. Last but never least, my husband away in Afghanistan needs to be able to see his puppy of 6 and half years again. Their reunions are so sweet, there are a large number of ‘viewers’ who could see this as a miracle since I take video of our Boxers and Daddy’s reunions and upload to YouTube, we have gotten over 500k hits – think of how many people we could share and our miracle healing with.

So my point here, Jedi’s miraculous healing could very well lead to people turning to GOD for salvation. So this battle we’re in, is not just a battle for our dog’s life, but the battle for people’s salvation and restoration! Which makes sense why the devil would be attacking my family so hard right now, we’ve had more than just one fight on our hands, we’ve had several, and all at the same time. I know without a doubt, I could not have made it through this if it weren’t for the previous faith battles we’ve endured, that which doesn’t kill us, really does make us stronger!

I’m not going to lose this battle, I don’t care what the devil throws at me next, I’m standing on the solid rock and I will not be moved. It doesn’t matter how many times we get knocked down, it only matters how many times we get back up! So I’m fighting here for much more than our puppy beating cancer, I’m fighting for the lost and wayward; I have been praying that GOD would use me as HIS vessel and often I've thought of what Jesus said:

He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few.  So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.” (Matthew 9:37-38 NLT)

So I’ve learned a lot during this time, I’ve learned that I can never know what a person is going through when they are praying for healing. I’m only praying for our sweet puppy, I refuse to even imagine what it would be like if it were one of my sons or another family member. I use to wonder if continuing in medical treatments, surgeries, medications that seem to destroy the quality of people’s life to fight the disease was actually going against their faith – but I’ve learned personally, that I would do whatever I physically could, to fight for my Jedi.  I’ve learned that healing can be received immediately or the healing maybe present but we just might not see the immediate effects; that maybe GOD is working on our patience during this season of illness. I believe without a doubt that EVERY illness, accident, and injury are from the devil! And I know that whatever the devil means for harm, that GOD can turn to good. 

And we know that God causes everything to work together  for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28 NLT)

HE made the water into wine, HE made the blind see, the lame walk and the dead to live! The key to every miracle was faith and action. We have to have faith that we will receive the miracle and we have to put that miracle into action. In my situation, we prayed for healing for Jedi, then we made the action of telling everyone, "The Vet has given Jedi 30 or so days to live, but I'm claiming victory in the name of Jesus ~ if you've never seen a miracle before, watch closely, ones on its way!!!" You see that was a step of faith, proclaiming to everyone that we were going to receive a miracle, that step of faith was the action GOD needed for us to receive our miracle. 

Now like I said, I believe patience is a big part of faith, sometimes we have to grow in patience and personally I know I needed to work on my patience. So we might not see an immediate end to all the symptoms, but we know we've received the healing and we will see it in GOD's timing, not our own, because HE sees the big picture; HE knows what we need to get to where HE wants us to be in our faith.  

As I sit and watch the events unfolding around me, I can’t see GOD’s plan, but I trust that HIS plan for me is full of an abundance of goodness, mercy and grace. We don’t see the big picture, we only see a narrow view of what’s going on around us. The plan was that I was to be driving to Florida today, I had the perfect opportunity to stay with a friend, have a wonderful and practically free trip to Disney and the beach for our son's Spring Break. It's just that the devil threw a wrench in our plans this past week; he did a few things that would have totally knocked the wind out of our sails if they had happened a year ago, but we’ve grown enough in our faith walk that we’re able to take the punch and just roll with it now. This relapse happened late last night and I would have been on the road a few hours after - it wouldn't have been a good trip if I had known Jedi was sick. I would have been worried the whole time, because you know no one can take care of your sick 'child' like Momma.  Thanks to what the devil intended for our harm, I’m able to take care of our puppy and nurse him back to health promptly so he can be on the road to recovery and healed! Our family has also learned a valuable lesson, because Jedi received such fast healing when he was initially diagnosed, I believe we took that healing for granted - now more than ever we are united in fighting for Jedi, we’re joining in prayer, we’re taking this opportunity and using it to spread the Gospel to all those we know.  I know that if we stay on the path HE has for us, we will get to see the goodness of the Lord....

Yet I am confident I will see the LORD’s goodness

      while I am here in the land of the living.

     Wait patiently for the LORD.

      Be brave and courageous.

      Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

(Psalm 27:13-14 NLT)

Our Words are Either Blessings or Curses

Last year my husband and I decided to build a new house, our oldest son was going to be starting Jr. High that fall and we knew if we didn’t move to another area he would be going to a school that had many gangs and a lot of drug problems. We found the lot in the neighborhood that I had been dreaming of moving into, we found the perfect floor plan and put down our earnest money. Once my husband returned to work (he works overseas) I was having a hard time sleeping, thinking of not being able to sell our current house, finance issues, etc. I woke up one night and sent my husband an IM and by ‘chance’ he was in his room and asked why I was awake, I explained my mind wouldn’t turn off and we began to talk, after a few minutes I realized what was really bothering me – we had never prayed and asked GOD if buying this house was HIS will, and we needed to repent (you see we had come to an agreement a few years prior, that all major purchases we would seek GOD’s will and not ours, to help keep our flesh under control). So we both prayed and like a weight lifted off me, I felt peace, I knew GOD was going to bless us with this new house, I knew that no matter what happened during this process, that we had GOD’s blessings and that we were to get this house.

I had decided that as a new stay at home Mom (I had always worked and just ‘retired’ a few months prior) that our new house would be the home that all the kids could hang out at. I would know what my kids were doing and who they were hanging out with. I would take the neighborhood kids to church with us on Wednesdays and Sundays, our house was not only going to be a blessing to us, but to those around us.

We put down almost all our savings on the house after the financing was approved, but after we put that money down we started having issues with financing the closer we got to completion of the house, it became very nerve wracking. Everybody we talked to said we couldn’t finance because of my husbands income was foreign income in a war zone (lots of technicalities about the laws changed that January). We didn’t have a single showing on the other house either, now our other home was beautiful, we loved it and it really was a great home, but not a single person inquired about it from January until May. So here I have a few major issues going against us in the buying of our new home, but I had that promise from GOD, so even though the world was telling me NO, I remembered GOD had told me YES!

When people would ask how the showing was on the old house or how the new house was, I just kept speaking words of faith and saying everything was going to be perfect, this house was going to be a blessing to us and we were going to be blessing whomever bought our other house. We had already decided we were not trying to make a profit on the other house, we listed it only for what we owed on the house and were going to be giving them all the appliances and some furniture as well.

At our final walk through of the new house, I received a call from the loan officer and was told that they wouldn't be able to help us get the house. Well, I didn’t believe that was the final word, so my husband and I went up and talked to him, and he went to the President of the bank and he signed off on the loan for us!

We moved into our new home and blessings were still abundant, we decided to rent out the other house and maybe do a lease to own financing. It took a few months, but we found the perfect family for our other house, but at this point my words changed. People would ask how the new house was and I stopped blessing it and began cursing it – I would say, "well, it’s great, BUT you know we put all our savings into it and we still have the other house and now I’m making two mortgages, two electric and water bils, it’s really draining our finances."

At first I had the neighborhood kids coming over, I took them to church, I did all that I had said I would…but then my words began to put me in bondage. I was depressed over our finances, I didn’t want kids over, I didn’t want to do all that I had told GOD I was going to do with our blessing – because now I was speaking curses, even though I was still believing in GOD to change our circumstances, even though I was praying and serving GOD, my words were destroying all that GOD had given us.

Just this past week, I learned the power of my words, and the power I had given those words over our situation. The situation we are in will only improve or get worst, depending on the words we speak over it. When we were in the process of buying the new house, I had stood firm on faith and cast out all those negative words before they could get into my thoughts; but once we were in the house, my words changed, I began listening and worrying, and I would speak out negative, a foothold became a stronghold. I even knew when I spoke those words, that they were death and cursing and not blessing and life, I felt that check from the Holy Spirit in me, telling me that I ought not say those things, but I did anyways. I’m a full disclosure kind of person (obviously) so I’ve learned that sometimes, I don’t need to say everything, I don't need to say what 'is', but speak out in faith of GOD's blessings. I should have been saying, 'The house is great, GOD blessed us abundantly, we are going to be a blessing to others and GOD will continue to bless us through our new home and the selling of our old home!'

Our situation just received new life, GOD is good like that, HE breathed new life and blessings into our finances after my husband and I joined together in prayer over our finances, and I confessed the cursing of my words. I honestly couldn’t believe how fast GOD blessed us with this, literally days after I confessed the cursing and prayed with my husband, GOD gave us mercy (I’ve been told before, when we confess, that the faith channel is unblocked and that mercy flows quickly and I believe it did for us). The bondage of the last 8 months has been huge, but the freedom from it has been life changing!

I honestly believe the breakthrough in our prayers and receiving mercy, grace and blessings from GOD concerning our prayers was due to alignment of our words with GOD's Word and our prayers without ceasing. Below is what I learned concerning the power of our words, I hope it blesses you and encourages you!

GOD created the heavens and the universe with HIS Words, HE spoke and it became. GOD created us in HIS own image, we are in HIS likeness. Then Adam corrupted that likeness, and our spirits were given death instead of life .

But the Lord warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden – except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” (Genesis 2:16-17 NLT)

When HE sent HIS Son to die for us, and we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we became ‘new creations’ – we no longer were born to death that Adam brought on us, life was breathed into us again from GOD, our Spirits were new and full of the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV)

As a believer you know, that all it took to be a new creation in Christ was to confess with your mouth and SPEAK the words that Jesus is the Son of GOD, that HE died on the cross for our sins and that GOD raised HIM from the dead on the 3^rd day and that HE sits at GOD’s right hand in heaven – those words spoken, that confession; made you an adopted child of GOD, gave you full rights to GOD’s Kingdom, gave you the authority of Christ. So those WORDS breathed new life into you and gave you the power of GOD’s Word.

Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations (or peoples), baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20 NLT)

Wow, you see, we are disciples of Christ, Jesus gave us this authority. Why did HE give us this authority, because HE knew we would need it to fight the enemy. Satan is the ‘god of this world’ (2 Corinthians 4:4) but his powers are limited to this world, we have Christ’s authority to fight Satan and defeat him!

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. (1 Peter 5:8-9 NLT)

We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. (2 Corinthians 10:4 NLT)

Those false arguments are those whispers of the devil, the lies and deception that the enemy tries to convince us of.  The weapon that is our main defense against the enemy is the Word of GOD, we can speak out GOD’s Word and claim the promises of GOD and defeat the enemy with the words we speak!

And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God. (Ephesians 6:17 AMP)

We have to have salvation to be able to use the Word of GOD to defeat the enemy, we have to be believers to speak out and win against the devil, without salvation, we don’t have the Holy Spirit and we are not new creations with the authority of Christ.

For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12 AMP)

Words are the key to blessings and cursing. The Bible is full of scripture that warns us about our words and almost every chapter of Proverbs has at least one scripture related to our words, this isn't by chance, no it's because our words are that powerful!

My father taught me, “Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live. (Proverbs 4:4 NLT)

The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain…(Proverbs 10:11a NLT)

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. (Proverbs 12:18 NLT)

The tongue can bring death or life..(Proverbs 18:21a NLT)

For it is good to keep these sayings in your heart and always ready on your lips. (Proverbs 22:18 NLT)

By keeping GOD’s Word in our heart and on our lips, it is easier to speak out the truth that comes from GOD instead of the lies of the devil.

…For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. (Matthew 12:34b NLT)

Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can SAY to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen.  (Mark 11:22-23a NLT)

I capitilaized the word ‘SAY’ because Jesus told us that we have to have faith and then SPEAK out, it’s a two part process, believe what you say and when you say it, it will be. I’m going to end this with James 3, there’s a whole lesson in our words because they are so powerful, I cannot do it all justice, but wanted to share with you a part of what I have learned. If you want to, do a study on Words on Bible Gateway, it’s amazing all the scripture for our words, GOD has given the power and the authority to defeat the devil, we just need to know our weapons to be able to use them effectively!

Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.  Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.  And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong.  In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.  And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish,  but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.  Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.  And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!  Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?  Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.  (James 3:1 – 12 NLT)

Since we started building our home, this scripture was impressed on me to be on our entranceway, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. " Joshua 24:15

My husband, me, my oldest son - Hunter, Max and my step-daughter Celina outside our new beautiful home

Words

I watched a sermon yesterday that suggested we be more selective with our words and we'll become more effective. After which I considered a fast from talking - but due to my family situation, I wouldn't be able to do a complete fast from talking, so I've decided to speak LESS and let those few words be MORE.

Instead of writing my thoughts, I'm only going to include some scriptures that I am trusting in right now - when GOD's Word is in you, HIS Words will come through you!

Words

Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. (James 3:2 NLT)

Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. (Proverbs 18:20, 21 NLT)

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. (Ephesians 4:29 NCV)

Speak FAITH not fear

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! (Deuteronomy 30:19 NLT)

But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. (1 John 4:4 NLT)

But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken! (Isaiah 54:17 NLT)

If you listen to these commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom. (Deuteronomy 28:13 NLT)

Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. (Psalm 91:5-7 NLT)

The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8 NLT)

**(Revised 2/15/12) At the top of my Blog are tabs, one tab has a "Prayer Confession for our Words" by Kenneth Copeland, if you would like to take a type of 'Fasting of your Words' please read Copeland's book and then confess this prayer he wrote.

Day 3 of 21-Day Challenge: A New Habit

I was never a fancy sunglass wearing kind of person, but I married a Southern Californian who has an ‘Oakley’ habit. I could never spend more than $10 on a pair of sunglasses because I tend to break or lose them. But one day while we were buying my husband his umpteenth pair of Oakley’s (his collection of Oakley’s is similar to my shoe collection) he decided his wife needed to own a pair as well. I was very nervous about spending that much money on something knowing my clumsy tendencies with sunglasses, yet I walked out with a pair. So here I am 5 years later with not one but two pairs of Oakley’s, I have not lost or broken either pair. How could I go from breaking and losing the cheap-y sunglasses to keeping one pair this long? Simple, I’m VERY careful with them because they cost a lot more!

Obey my commands, and you will live. Guard my teachings as you would your own eyes. (Proverbs 7:2 NCV)

Here I am being ultra-careful with my expensive sunglasses, but I’m not near as careful with GOD’s teachings. GOD’s wisdom, commandments and teachings are priceless and far more valuable than a pair of sunglasses, so why have I been so careless with GOD’s Word?

I have a hard time memorizing scripture; it is not easy for me at all, which is also very frustrating to me! As I'm reading the Bible or when I’m writing my blog, I’ll think of a scripture related to what I've read or written, but only bits and pieces of it, so I’ll have to Google it to find the actual verse. Or I will be talking with someone and say, “oh you know that verse, Matthew 6 or is it verse 6?,” and then I’ll grab my iPhone and try to look up the verse from my Bible app, but by the time I find the scripture, the moment is gone and it’s a loss opportunity.

Memorizing scripture could be called a sacrifice on my part, as much as giving up chocolate! But I see now, that to obey GOD’s commands and guard GOD’s teachings, I need to put more effort into memorizing scriptures!

Tie them on your fingers as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. (Proverbs 7:3 NLT)

Before there were data planners and smart phones to remind us of important things, people would tie a string on their finger to remind them they had something important they need not forget! So a modern Bible might say instead, put this on your reminder list and set an alert to 'Remember GOD's teachings'! So once I begin to memorize GOD’s Word it will be much easier to write HIS Words deep within my heart. We want GOD's Word to become second nature to us, if it's as difficult for you as it is for me, be strengthened and know that we can pray and ask that GOD would give us the ability to memorize HIS Word! I believe that is a prayer GOD would bless us with without any delay because when we know GOD’s Word, we will start LIVING HIS Word!