The Sweetest Fragrance

I am grateful that God always makes it possible for Christ to lead us to victory. God also helps us spread the knowledge about Christ everywhere, and this knowledge is like the smell of perfume. In fact, God thinks of us as a perfume that brings Christ to everyone. For people who are being saved, this perfume has a sweet smell and leads them to a better life. (CEV) 2 Corinthians 2:14-16  

When we put our trust in God, when we have no where else to turn, when we have nothing left but faith - that is when we truly have everything we need. That 'nothing left but Faith' is a beautiful fragrant offering to God and that my friends, is when God can deliver His miracles.

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT)

I want to share with you that I am so far from being an ideal Christian and how far from deserving of forgiveness I am. If you've read my past posts, you've seen that I've been suffering from depression and from some heavy burdens. I've dealt with those attacks from the enemy with the best weapon, God's Word and I knew God's Mercy and Grace were the only way out. 

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16 NKJV)

My prayers never ceased during this tribulation, but my fear was taking over my faith - yet once I grabbed hold of God's Promises, the fear began to break off with only my faith remaining. This has been by far, the most difficult trial/challenge I have ever dealt with and would never want anyone else to go through this without God.  Now, looking back I can see how much stronger mine and my family's faith have become simply because we walked through the fire and survived -  I imagine we will need that strength for the next attack the enemy sends our way. 

God gave us a miracle, we knew that Jehovah Jireh (Genesis 22:13-14) would supernaturally provide for us - because that was the only way to get out of the pit we were in. We didn't know how, but we knew He would. I want to encourage you to not give up, to keep moving forward, no matter your circumstances, no matter what the world and your flesh tell you - hold on to your faith, hold on to God's Promises and don't let go.

"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NKJV

Trusting God and Building Your Faith

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

When life is good, trusting God is easy. When life is in turmoil, trusting in God is a battle of faith. I believe without a doubt that God wants to bless us and that the bad things that happen aren’t God’s desire for us at all. I also believe that God can deliver us from the trials that we endure, but sometimes during the difficult times we can learn something more valuable: Faith by Trusting in God. 

When you’re at the end of your rope, that’s when God can work miracles. Last year, I went through what I thought was the most difficult time of my life; my faith grew despite not receiving the miracle we prayed for. I didn’t give up on God, I didn’t blame God, and sometime after, I was able to see how God could still use that event for His good.

As Christians, we understand that life isn’t easy - we are constantly under attack by the enemy. So when my current trial came up on me, it was no suprise. The enemy knows when we’re weak and he knows exactly how to attack us. We have to remain strong, we can’t give him any slack, that means staying in God’s Word, Praying and Serving God. We know about the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and it’s importance, so if we want to defeat the devil, we have to stay vigilant and prepared. 

This time, I let my guard down, I let the enemy gain a foothold on me when I allowed my feelings of anxiety, fear and depression to take over instead of turning to God's Word. To quote C.S. Lewis, “Faith is the art of holding on to things in spite of your changing moods and circumstances.” It’s so much harder to fight when the tide is already against you, don’t allow the enemy to gain any ground. We must recognize the attack and pick up our armor and continue to fight. Don’t give in, instead dive in - dive into the Word of God. 

The word of God, you see, is alive and moving; sharper than a double-edged sword; piercing the divide between soul and spirit, joints and marrow; able to judge the thoughts and will of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12 VOICE)

When the enemy whispers your worst fears, you have to be able to fight back with God’s promises for you. The Apostle Paul knew this all to well, that’s why he taught us that in the Armor of God, to pick up God’s Word - the sword of the Spirit, to fight against the enemy.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NLT)

My favorite passage to turn to lately has been Psalm 23, I can read it in any version and feel God’s peace and presence. When you feel overwhelmed or don’t think you can overcome your current situation pick up the sword of the Spirit and fight off the enemy, memorize a scripture that soothes your soul and pray for God’s peace, strength and comfort. I have to remind myself often of this verse and today I discovered this wonderful note in The Voice translation that I wanted to share:

You see, God did not give us a cowardly spirit but a powerful, loving, and disciplined spirit. 
*God’s gift of faith is like a flame, and when the embers of the fire have cooled you must fan them again and keep them ablaze. (2 Timothy 1:7 VOICE)

Fighting Depression and Anxiety

We all were created by God for a specific purpose. As I’ve drawn closer to God and prayed over various areas and circumstances in my life, He has always been faithful to reveal specific answers to my prayers, but always in His perfect timing. I learned how I was to quit working and be a stay at home mom to our sons specifically so I could raise them to be the men of God that they were intended to be. When we struggled with financing our new home, I was promised that our home would be a blessing to others, where we would share God with others. When we were deciding upon the question of homeschooling, the two previous promises came together again - reminding me, God’s timing is indeed perfect and only with those promises fulfilled could we make that faithful step of homeschooling.

So now, I am once again at God’s mercy with yet another trial and staring fear in the face, questioning every move I make, afraid to be out of the will of God - not sure if I’m doing the right thing; is our home and my health at risk by allowing anxiety and depression to overpower me. It can be a lonely place, when a Believer struggles with such doubts - afraid to share them with others, because you don’t want to discourage others - especially when you’ve always been the strong encourager and prayer warrior for everyone else. Not wanting to answer when asked how you are, because you don’t want to lie and you don’t want to tell the truth ~ that you cry yourself to sleep most nights and while awake are consumed with fear and anxiety during the day.

I know I tend to share a lot and this has made me fearful of writing. I’m either sharing too much or I’m sharing enough to let others know they aren’t alone.  So I’ve held back writing about this time I’m going through - afraid of sharing too much, yet needing to get off my chest what has paralyzed me for far too long.

Like all good parents, my parents worry about me, even as a wife/mom at age 39, that hasn’t stopped their worry - so much that I don’t dare tell them what all I’m dealing with. My husband is in Afghanistan and definitely has too much to be concerned about, let alone worry about all that his wife is struggling with back home. I wish I could say I have friends to confide in, but honestly, they are too busy with their own lives to get involved with me and most of them assume I’m this Super Woman who can do it all, so when I mention what’s going on, it’s easily brushed aside as not that big of a deal. That’s why it’s so wonderful to have a Heavenly Father that I can lay my burdens down to, a God that I can cry out to; I know that I can boldly go to His throne of grace and receive His never ending love and mercy, peace, strength and comfort. 

I know the enemy wants nothing more than to keep me gripped in this fear and panic, but that’s the key - I know that’s where he wants me, so I’m not going to stay there - I choose Life. 

“Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. 16 For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy. (Deuteronomy 30:15-16 NLT)

Jesus already broke those chains of bondage for me when I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, we’ve been given complete authority over the devil, so when he begins whispering his lies and doubts we have to lean on the Word of God more than ever, because it's by His strength and His might we are more than conquerors!

So I’m taking hold of the promises that God has given me, and I’m claiming even more.  God’s promises haven’t changed, He’s given me my own and He’s given all His children the same inheritance, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, plans for a GOOD and NOT for disaster, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE’. My purpose hasn’t changed, I might have run into some road blocks and made some mistakes along the way, but God’s mercy is freely given to the repentant heart.  

God knows the trials I’m going through and I know that only the work of a supernatural miracle will resolve my problems - I have to trust in God, He made those promises to me and I can’t stop believing in them just because of what I’m going through - that’s what faith is all about. I’ve learned a lot through this and I’m still learning, but I believe the key that God wanted to show me was; no matter what happens, this world is temporary, we are but vapors in the wind and only one thing remains - God’s love; so there’s nothing I can ever fear in this life when the Creator of the Universe knows me, loves me, and has great plans for me!

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Eternal, “plans for peace, not evil, to give you a future and hope—never forget that. 12 At that time, you will call out for Me, and I will hear. You will pray, and I will listen. 13 You will look for Me intently, and you will find Me. 14 Yes, I will be found by you,” says the Eternal, “and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations where you’ve been scattered—all the places where I have driven you. I will bring you back to the land that is your rightful home.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 VOICE)

My Heart Aches

My heart feels so heavy right, I feel the pain and tears of so many ~ the Holy Spirit communicates with us all and I honestly believe right now I’m feeling the sensitivity of my Spirit to the hurt around me. I myself have been saddened by my own circumstances and have felt the tears flowing, which causes me to be reminded of our Heavenly Father’s heart and tears for His children.  As much as I can feel for my friends and family, God cares for us ALL so much more.

You keep track of all my sorrows.

    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

    You have recorded each one in your book.

(Psalm 56:8 NLT)

So don’t turn from the One who will always be there for you, no matter what you’re going through or have been through – He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut 31:6, Heb 13:5) so run to Him, run to His open arms and feel the everlasting peace that only Jesus can give. 

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] (John 16:33 AMP)

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