I’m going to pick up my 21-day challenge with
accountability. Who are you accountable to? Do you have a Girlfriend in GOD that you can go to and request her to stand in
the gap for you? Have you ever thought of asking someone to help you with the
areas of your faith or life that you struggle with? GOD created us to lean on
HIM, yet HE also created us to need one another. Although my husband is my best
friend, I still need girlfriends (sisters in faith) that can relate to our struggles and issues, but most importantly that we can encourage each other
in our walk with GOD and have some accountability with.
I was on fire, I was doing so great with my 21-day challenge
(well at least I thought I was), but out of the blue I was given the
opportunity to go spend time away with my husband while he was at training in
the states. It was wonderful since he was only going to be in country for 3
weeks and already had been gone for 3 months! I was encouraged by my mentors in
my church, when they assured me that it’s okay to take time off from my blog,
my FB page and my volunteer work at my church when my husband is home.
Unfortunately, I let that lack of accountability go a bit
overboard during that time; I didn’t read my Bible or say my prayers during
that time (I usually spend about an hour a day praying for others and reading my Bible and devotions). I learned this Sunday
that the reasons for my behavior was rooted in fear. I was afraid I was disappointing GOD, and ended up letting the enemy whisper his lies to me, I felt shame and guilt, so I avoided
GOD, instead of repenting and seeking forgiveness. I know I’m happiest when I’m close
to GOD and following HIS will, so why did I allow myself to listen to those lies, was it the lack of accountability? If I had a girlfriend in God that I could be honest enough with and say, "I haven't been praying or reading my Bible, I feel terrible, I want to, but I keep coming up with excuses" maybe if I had someone to nudge me and say, "I know your hubby is home for a short time, but what if you just take 30 mins a day for GOD instead of your usual time...". In the end, the blame is all mine, but it's something that has been a burden to me and now that I'm getting back into my routine again, I needed to share this, to keep myself accountable and to hopefully encourage you if you've ever 'fallen off the wagon' before or if you ever do in the future. I’m comforted knowing that God
never left me and because I have a repentant heart and spirit, I’m just as much
a beloved child of GOD today as I was before. I also know that GOD teaches us,
even when we don’t see a teachable moment or event in our life, GOD can use any circumstance to build up ourselves and others.
Great post Dawn, thank you for sharing your heart. I think a lot of people can understand what you are going through, I certainly can.
ReplyDeleteAs I have been working on anxiety with Jesus' help over the last few months, I came to realise, like a curtain had been lifted from my eyes, just how important our girlfriends are and the importance of the subject of accountability.
Finding a friend who you can be totally honest with and say, 'I'm struggling today' or having someone ask you important faith questions like 'how is your relationship with God?' would be so helpful.
I often find myself in situations where I ask others, but not always the other way round.
I am praying into this and think this is where our litle group could be a real blessing to each other, as we grow in Him and our writing.
God bless x
Dawn, I love your heart and how you have been so transparent here. We all go through these times and thank you for sharing with us. I know I go through periods like this too. I also have accepted that my quiet time with God is not the same as others. How I would love to start my day alone with God, it doesn't always happen that way. I used to feel guilty or bad about myself because I don't spend an hour each morning. Being a single mom I have learned this is my season and I am very thankful for it. So, I have learned to take moments throughout the day to spend with God. I usually read my bible and daily devotionals on my smart phone while drinking my coffee. I have my music on through out the day and will praise God, and talk to Him throughout the day. One place I have found where I can be alone with Him is in the shower! There are days when I let the busyness of life take control and I don't spend as much time with Him as I should.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Dawn!
Hi Dawn, I have complete sympathy for you with this post. I understand dropping your prayers because of distractions - particularly the very big one of spending time with your husband after a time of separation!! Thinking & praying for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this Dawn.....I think we all face this at some point in our walk. We would probably be surprised at how similiar our fears are.
ReplyDeleteI have a tendency to put myself through the guilt trip when I'm too exhausted to go back to church on Sun or Wed nights or I decide to stay home to spend time with my husband. We both work so our evenings through the week are always hectic. I tend to find myself wondering what everyone is thinking for me missing....if they are talking about me staying home instead of coming to church.
It's amazing what we do to ourselves (or allow the enemy to do) through our mind. I'm sure no one at my church ever says anything if I happened to miss an evening service, but in my mind they sure do :)
I love Dawn's comment about spending time with God in the shower....I do the same thing. A lot of my prayer time is spent there. The other thing I do (and don't laugh...well, you can) is sit on top of my commode seat while drying my hair every morning. The entire time I'm sitting, I'm reading several devotionals that I keep stacked up on the back tank....lol --- It really kick starts my day to be able to spend that time in His word. It may not be a large amount of time, but it's just enough to start my day out right.
Thank you all for your comments, they mean a lot to me, especially with my recent events since this post. I was able to write another day (Day 6) but after spending several hours yesterday and another couple today, I'm just not able to write. I think this is because I need to spend time with GOD and without thinking of what I need to write. Although during the past couple of days, I've been learning a lot, yet I haven't been able to put anything down into words.
ReplyDeleteAs far as reading the devotionals while blow drying your hair, that's multi-tasking for you, I know I usually end up checking my email on my phone while I'm drying my hair, but I like your choice better! I always spend time talking to GOD in the shower, it seems like its the best time, because there's no interruptions and well, how do I say this, but since we're not clothed, we're most vulnerable and able to be the most honest with GOD...
Thank you again, if it takes me a few days (or even weeks) to pick up my Blog of Devotions, I can accept that. I will continue to stop and spend time with just GOD and when the time is right for me to write again, well, HE'll be sure to let me know <3